SISTERHOOD IS SELF-CARE
Sometimes what you need most is your people.
I was having one of those days.
You know the kind. Nothing was necessarily wrong, but everything felt like too much at once. My brain was full, my patience was low, and I was feeling completely overwhelmed.
So I did what I apparently know to do without even thinking about it anymore.
I opened the group chat with my girls.
Within minutes, there were messages coming in. Advice. Encouragement. A little reality check. A few things that made me laugh. And, most importantly, that feeling of okay, I'm not dealing with this by myself.
And it got me thinking about how lucky I am to have women I can turn to like that.
We talk a lot about taking care of ourselves - getting enough rest, moving our bodies, eating well, setting boundaries, taking a break.
But sometimes self-care looks a lot less like a wellness routine and a lot more like calling your girls.
Your Girls Are Good For You
Whether it’s a night out, a coffee date, a walk around the neighbourhood, or a group chat that has you crying laughing at 11 p.m., spending time with your girls is good for your health.
And this isn’t just something we feel - there’s science behind it, too.
Lowers stress: Hanging out with your girls can lower cortisol and help reduce stress.
Calms your nervous system: Feeling safe and supported by your people helps your nervous system settle when you’re overwhelmed.
Boosts oxytocin: Positive social connection increases the bonding hormone, building trust and deep connection.
Lifts your mood: Sharing laughs and deep conversations triggers feel-good chemicals like dopamine and endorphins.
So that late-night phone call you stayed on way too long? Health choice.
Planning the trip, booking the dinner, or losing track of time talking in the car? Vital self-care.
We Come From Women Who Gathered
There’s something instinctive about Black women connecting.
Long before wellness was an industry, Black women were gathering in sisterhood to care for themselves, celebrate each other, offer support, and get through life together. We’ve leaned on our communities for generations.
The way we connect looks different now. The kitchen table became the group chat. The front porch became FaceTime. But that pull toward our people remains.
That incredible tradition of showing up for each other is why Black Queens of Durham is such an amazing group to be part of!
If your circle feels a little small right now, or if you're still looking for your people, remember this: you are already part of a powerhouse community of over 14,000 amazing Queens! This sisterhood is your space, your village, and proof that you never have to navigate any season alone.
Whether you have a lifelong crew, a single ride-or-die, or are forging new friendships with fellow Queens - hanging out is more than just catching up. There’s history behind it. There’s community behind it. And it turns out, there’s science behind it, too.
Have Fun With Your Friends
So this October, I have a homework assignment for you: HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FRIENDS!
Send the ridiculous voice note. Post the meme in our Facebook group. Book a spa day. Plan a game night. Laugh until your stomach hurts.
It doesn’t matter what it looks like. What matters is the agreement behind it: This is where we go when we need to be seen, heard, and held.
Check out these events happening across Durham this month - maybe you’ll find your next excuse to gather.
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5:00 PM - 8:00 PM
Dorsay Community & Heritage Centre, 2365 Concession Road 6, Pickering, ON
FREE
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1:00 PM - 6:00 PM
Rembrandt Banquet Halls, 10 Milner Business Crt, Scarborough
Adult $65 / Child $45
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9:00 AM - 2:00 PM
Chestnut Hill Developments Recreation Complex, 1867 Valley Farm Rd, Pickering
FREE
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7:00 PM (doors), 8:00 PM (show)
Pickering Casino Resort, 888 Durham Live Ave, Pickering
VARIES
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written by Nickisha RASHID